Project Runway -- Here's a big "Harry Winston up yours" to you!

I wasn't going to blog about PR any more because everybody in the fashion blogosphere is already blogging about PR, and in a more timely manner. (In case you missed any of the thousands of recaps and comments on the internet, PR airs its original episodes on Wednesday). However, when my favorite food blogger, the very charming and diet-destroying Amateur Gourmet interrupts his usual program to post an agonized statement about the outcome of Episode 6, I have to concede that the PR thing is bigger than I am, resistance is futile, and I might as well comment about it here because the damn TWOP threads are moving like the speed of light and I'll never catch up enough to comment there.

For you kind people who come here to read about vintage clothing and not TV, I can guarantee you this -- I will NEVER write about American Idol.

Anyway, here's the deal. The Episode 6 challenge was a trick challenge, that is, the designers had to make clothing out of something weird. The were bused to New Jersey, thrown into a recycling center, and told that they had to make their next garments out of the recycled material. So the designers hauled buckets of refuse back to Parsons and they set to work making dresses out of mylar, paper, plastic sheeting, newspaper and one old copy of Martha Stewart's "Living."

In spite of the odd and uncooperative materials, the outfits they produced were exactly what you'd expect from each of them. Jeffrey, the Tattoo Guy, made a complex and funky dress. Michael from A.T.L. made a dress for a fashion intellectual. Laura made something for the Ladies Who Lunch (oh, best comment evah about Laura, here). Perky Angela made a weird granola granny streetwalker suit of armor. Fraulein Uli made something, uh, Uli. Robert "Mr. Barbie" finally loosened up enough to make a dress Barbie would wear (keep it up, Robert!) and Vincent, well, Vincent made something insane.

The initial unexpected underdog was Kayne, Pageant Guy. He initially made a gown with a huge, stiff, bottle-cap studded paper skirt. The garment looked like it had a bad case of frog acne. The lovely, soft-spoken, so-sweet-she'd-cry-for-a-cheat Alison also had a false start, but she tossed out her original design an made the intricate origami number pictured above. Her dress wasn't anything anyone would wear (excluding paper fetishists), but neither was anything else -- they were made out of trash, for pete's sake.

And Princess Alison was auf'd for the most horrible sin a person can commit in fashion-land; her dress, in the judges' opinion, made her model look fat.

If Alexandra, Alison's model, looks fat, or zaftig as Tim Gunn said, then I must look like the Goodyear blimp. Just slip my moorings and fly me over the Superbowl, m'kay?

The prevailing opinion of most posting PR fans is that Alison was auf'd because she didn't bring teh drama. In fact, the remaining designers are the bitchy, the camp, and the crazy (except Uli, who'd better put on her bitch game face before she loses drama points too). So we viewers will be getting plenty of drama, but good design? Maybe not so much.

Speaking of drama, in this episode Laura, she of the unfortunate clavicle, was revealed to be the uniformly disliked bitch of the season. At the end of the program, she was shown chewing out Vincent for somehow evading aufing yet again. Vincent fired back, telling her to "stick some Harry Winston's up her nose," which has to be the weirdest "up yours" I've ever heard.

Summary: Michael won, Jeffrey should have won. Alison was auf'd, Vincent should have been auf'd. Ah well, controversy brings in viewers, doesn't it?

Captain Sav-a-ho -- Project Runway Episode 6

The challenge this week was to modernize the look of a fashion icon. The icons (or in this case, "icons") in question were Jacqueline Kennedy, Audrey Hepburn, Katherine Hepburn, Pam Grier, Diana Ross, Marilyn Monroe, Twiggy and Cher. I had some philosophical problems with this challenge. For example, the designers were warned not to design anything retro. Well, poo, I says to myself, what's wrong with retro -- especially when some of the icons' signature looks, like Jackie Kennedy's neat structured suits and Twiggy's babydoll dresses and shifts, are all over the runways this season? Audrey-like little black dresses never go out of style. Another problem was that at least two of the designers had no clue who their icons were and what they wore. Bradley, incredibly, knew nothing about Cher, and Allison knew knew nothing about Farrah Fawcett, although I wouldn't call either of those women fashion icons. If this challenge had been described as modernizing the look of a gay icon I think some of the designers would have been more successful. (What? No Elizabeth Taylor?)

Michael Knight (who, when he defended Angela, said "I'm not trying to play Captain Save-a-ho", a phrase that I'm sure just entered the general vernacular), was the clear winner of the challenge. He knew who his icon, Pam Grier, was, and he made a beautifully constructed and fitting eye-catching pink outfit. And he did it all with minimum drama, even though he scrapped his first design mid-project. I do believe Michael's going to to win this season.

I wasn't on board with the judges' other two favorite designs, Kayne's Goth gown for Marilyn, because it made his model's butt look lumpy, and Angela's LBD for Audrey Hepburn, because it was made by Angela. Audrey would never have worn anything that exposed half her chest, anyway. I thought Uli's flamboyant purple gown for Diana Ross was better than either of those. Michael Kors was spot on when he called Vincent's Twiggy dress "more Brady bunch than Twiggy." Oh, welcome back, Mr. Kors! The other outfits were okay, even Robert Best's boring beige Jackie suit, or, like Jeffrey's Madonna costume, insane. Po' Bradley, who has been suffering a crisis of confidence, was auf'd for his tin-man Cher costume. I liked Bradley, but he clearly had no killer gene, which is essential for a reality show contestant.

Show-wise, PR has a real problem -- most of the best stuff winds up in the bonus videos at bravotv.com. Ah well, the more for the extended version DVD.

Mo' pretty!

I love unusual -- okay, loud -- color combinations, like red and pink, red and purple, red, pink and purple. My yard is full of pots planted with purple easter-egg alyssum, tomato-red geraniums and orange african daisies, all surrounded by red and coral mini rose bushes and purple butterfly bushes. So when I saw the dress at left, a balloon dress, no less, in a red and pinky-purple floral print, I had yet another "ooooooh, pretty" moment. I confess, I live for those.

This dress is for sale at antiquedress.com, which has quite a collection of balloon, bubble, and tulip dresses for sale at the moment. At the other end of the silhouette spectrum, it also has this wiggle dress, with *swoon* a modified petal bodice, in a super fantastic orange/magenta/turquoise print. Oh, I lust for that fabric! I (The dress itself, alas, is too expensive and too small for me.) The hot-pink gown with the fabulous Watteau train also caught my eye. I'm firmly convinced that the world would be a better place if more women wore dresses with Watteau trains (and voted for progressive Democrats).

Antiquedress.com does a fabulous job of displaying the dresses on sale. The photos, which are many and large, look like they were taken by a professional photographer, or at least in a studio environment with professional equipment. They, and the web-site maintenance, must cost the webmistress a mint and it appears that she prices her items accordingly, which is not to say that the garments aren't spectacular themselves. No matter; I'm just browsing, and the browsing is good.

Almost as good as solitaire

An unsolicited e-mail from Jon made it through my spam filter the other day, and actually, I'm glad it did. Jon politely asked me if I, as someone "very active in the fashion bloggersphere" would look at his new site, www.fashmatch.com and give him my opinion (and later a plug). So I went on over there and got sucked in -- dayum, putting together outfits is almost as much fun as kittenwars or The Dick Cheney Quail Hunt. But be warned! The site plays music, so be sure to turn off your speakers if you're planning to put together a wardrobe while you're on the clock. Here it is, Jon's plug and your time waster: fashMatch.com.

They don't bubble the way they used to.

Vogue has made it official: The Bubble is a Fall Trend. Indeed, bubble skirts can be found from Nieman-Marcus to Walmart. I've been intrigued by relative novelty of these drapey items, so I've tried on a few -- and rapidly removed them. All I could do was stare, and not in a good way, when a middle-aged woman waltzed into My Favorite Muffin at 10:00 a.m. wearing a shiney silver bubble rendered in some crinkley material (I think it was this one, in fact). So bubbles may be a current trend, but as far as I'm concerned, they don't quite work.

However, I still like the idea of bubbles, balloons, and their kinder, gentler sister, the tulip skirt, in theory and in vintage. Look at these beautiful examples from the past; the pattern from Fuzzy Lizzy Vintage (click on photo for link), the cinnamon tulip dress formerly for sale by emmapeelpants (can you stand it?) on ebay. Here's another gorgeous example, once again, already sold, that'll give you an idea of what a dress made from this pattern might look like.

The vintage balloon/bubble/tulip dresses work, I think, because they're for evening, when fanciful dress is expected, and because the designers Committed to The Bubble (but not in an '80's way) and went with lots of volume. The current crop of full gathered skirts look rather deflated and tomboyish in comparison, whereas a proper bubble dress just has to be full-tilt girly. Dresses with the bubble silhouette also work better than skirts because they solve the nagging question "what the hell do I wear with this?" With a dress, the wearer just has to Commit to the Bubble, put on a great pair of shoes, and go.

Oooooooooh, pretty -- and it can be yours!

Pretty pretty 1950s cocktail dress for sale on ebay by Shrimpton Couture. A must for any vintage loving girly-girl.

Audrey Hepburn's favorite color was pink, y'know.

Project Runway -- surprise!

Okay, the big news in last night's episode of PR wasn't the disqualification of Keith -- most viewers had him pegged as the bad guy from the beginning -- but the triumph of Angela "Happy Hands at Home" Keslar. Angela won the Macy's I.N.C. challenge, which means that her design is now on sale at macys.com (click picture for link) and "selected stores" (which doesn't mean my local Macy's). Assuming that Angela gets immunity as well as fame from winning this challenge, that also means she'll be around for at least another two episodes, much to the dismay of the gang at TWOP.

Among the posters, Angela is disliked for her artsy-craftsy ballon-skirt with rosettes aesthetic. (That's a picture of her bubble-skirted creation for last week's challenge below.) I don't like Angela because she wears newsboy caps -- on an angle, no less -- and because she is, heaven help me, perky. Check out Bravo's bonus video of her dancing on the sewing table. I can't deal with perky; for example, I could never be a co-host on a morning show because within the first fifteen minutes of the first show I'd be driven to throttle the co-hosting standard issue morning show perky bitch with my coffee cup. If Angela had danced on the table by me, I'd have stabbed her with her own damn scissors.

Ahem: Angela's win was, I suspect, in great part due to the skill and good taste of her teammates, Laura and Michael. They restrained Angela's impulse to sew rosettes on every surface of the garment, but why they all thought it appropriate to stick rosettes under the collar so that it can't lie flat is beyond me.

I was disappointed in Robert "Mr. Barbie" Best's outfit -- his doll designs are so flamboyant, but his human designs are rather blah. I'm beginning to like Jeffrey "The Tattooed Man" Sebelia because he's more skilled than he looks. The previews for Episode 5, however, show Jeffrey having an enormous hissy fit and fighting with Laura, so my affection for him may be short-lived.

Next week the contestants are making updated outfits for fashion icons such as Jaqueline Kennedy, Marilyn Monroe, and Audrey Hepburn. That's not a challenge that really gets this vintage-lover too excited -- update the divine Audrey? Why? She's already perfect! Oh, well, carry on.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Amazon.com delivered this fabulous book to my door yesterday (click on photo for link). It's a gift from a friend who obviously knows my weaknesses -- clothes and movies. The book's a real treat, indeed it is!

Adrian was the head designer at MGM from 1929 to 1941. These were the depression years, when Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom and sensitivity to the Zeitgeist mostly made movies about rich people and bad girls. Those two groups aren't mutually exclusive, but in an era when people who could afford it changed clothes four times a day and always, always, dressed for dinner, they both needed lots of gowns.

Among the stars Adrian dressed were Garbo, Joan Crawford, Katherine Hepburn and Norma Shearer (that's her on the cover). He put Harlow in white satin for Dinner at 8." One dress he designed for Crawford, the "Letty Lynton" dress (at left), was knocked off and 500,000 copies were sold. He invented the women's power suit; the broad shouldered, slim-hipped suit that became the uniform of American women in the 1940s, and that Giorgio Armani revived in the '80s. The man could design!

Adrian was also the master of one of my favorite silly old Hollywood conventions -- the mid-movie fashion show, usually set in at a couturier's, when all the action stops for five to ten minutes while elegant ladies in fantastic outfits parade across the screen. Prior to the proliferation of fashion magazines and Project Runway, I suppose the movie fashion shows were a real treat for all the women in the audience who were neither rich nor bad.

Adrian's most famous fashion show occurs in the 1939 movie "The Women." It's a technicolor insert in a black-and-white movie. Howard Gutner, the author of "Gowns by Adrian," argues that the fashion show is an effective plot device it occurs just before The Wife and the Other Woman confront each other in the dressing rooms of the couturier. Eeeeeh, I think the story would have moved along just fine without the fashion show, but dang, it's fun.

"Gowns by Adrian" is more than just a coffee-table book of movie stills. It's a history of the design-side of a major Hollywood studio, and includes a lot of information about the skills and techniques involved in putting a film wardrobe together during the Golden Age. So, whether you like films, or like clothes, or like both, this is a great book to have.

One Person's Fetish is Another Person's Vintage Resource

So, I did an Google image search for "Dior A-Line," brought up a photo of a suit labled "Dior H Line" (two out of three ain't bad), clicked on the link to see the picture in its original context, and found myself in a treasure trove of vintage fashion pictures. There was a definite theme to the photos -- the silhouette was all long and lean, very lean. I scroll down a little more and find the index to the collection -- "Tight Skirts of the Past 1," "Tight Skirts of the Past 2," all the way to "Tight Skirts of the Past 12". Interesting way to label a photo collection, I thinks, unless . . . so I click on the home page link, and woo-hoo, NSFW, this abundance of classic photos is located in a site dedicated to women mostly in tight skirts. But I'm not going to criticize the webmaster's motivation, he put together a fabulous collection of fashion photos, some still with their captions, which just adds to the fun. Fashion fun, that is.

However, actually wearing the combination of a tight skirt and tight corset may lead a lady of fashion to do strange things. Like, drop her kitchen table in the middle of the town square during a performance by traveling acrobats, and lingering there, surrounded by villagers who are ready to pelt her and the performers with flowers (it not being tomato season) if they are displeased. Or something. Enjoy!

Project Runway -- it's going to be a loooong season.

It's twue, it's twue, the PR designers this season are amazingly gifted and skilled, capable of grinding out suits, coats, dog sweaters in the two days allowed for a competition. I enjoy watching them work and getting the brief glimpses of the outfits the producers deign to give us. The judges and their judging, though, is driving me crazy. I want Michael Kors back: Vera Wang, his substitute, all shrouded in black, is giving off a very Yoko Ono in her cranky widow phase vibe, and she's not nearly as entertainingly bitchy as Mr. "I wrote down 'farty'" Kors.

I'm also not in agreement with the judge's decisions. I don't understand their enthusiasm for Uli, who's a nice lady and rather witty, but who has produced basically the same dress for three episodes. I don't understand why Michael Knight keeps getting overlooked. I don't understand Nina Garcia's enthusiasm for the puffy shirt. My favorite looks keep getting a pass, but no praise.

This week, my fave was the outfit produced by Robert Best, at left. Okay, it's a Chanel knockoff, but the dog's name is Chanel, what's her hypothetical owner supposed to wear? But I would so wear that look, if the skirt were knee length. I don't think I've thought that about any other garment to hit the reality show runway.

Oh pattern, I barely missed ye --

I made myself late for an appointment today hovering over the last minutes of the ebay auction for the pattern pictured at left -- and I lost anyway. Its auction price was $29.00, its original price was probably, what? $1.25? But damn, it's a great vintage pattern. Besides being in my size, it's got a shape similar to the Duro dress of fame and many A Dress A Day entries, but with a couple of differences that makes it more suitable for me. In particular, this pattern, S9707, has a a natural waistline, which will keep me from looking like an elderly pregnant woman, and it has narrow set-in sleeves, which would keep me from setting myself on fire when I fired up the gas range to make a cup of tea.

While the bidding was open I made the mistake of imagining I already owned this pattern, and in my mind I was picking out fabric and trim and wondering how it would look with three-quarter sleeves -- and then I lost. Of course, now I MUST. HAVE. IT. So, I'm on the lookout for vintage Simplicity 9707. If any of y'all have one you'd like to sell me, let me know, m'kay?

Almost Miss Universe

Lo and behold, Tara Connor, Miss USA, actually wore the dress designed for Project Runway's second episode challenge by designer Kayne Gillaspie. Kayne is, in fact, a professional pagent designer who owns a store called Southern Charm in Norman, Oklahoma. Miss Connor is a former Miss Kentucky.

What would happen to the great Red State tradition of pagents, I wonder, if the great Red State agenda of getting rid of gay men is successful? Who will design the gowns, choreograph the dances, apply the makeup, do the hair of all those pretty Red State girls?

Straight men won't. But all is not lost; those same straight men will just stand those pretty gals naked on a slave block, the way the great Red State God intended.

Ahem. Not to mention Amen. Tara asked the Project Runway gang to design a gown that was more red carpet than pagent, and that didn't wasn't too low cut. She wanted the judges to see her, rather than . . . her, I guess, and perhaps she thought she'd stand out by injecting a little class into the meat market, um, contest. She guessed wrong.

The title of Miss Universe was won by Miss Puerto Rico, Zuleyka Rivera, who was wearing a dress made out of metal chains and perhaps designed by the winner of Project Runway Latino's hardware store challenge. The judges certainly saw her coming. But perhaps I'm too cynical and it wasn't Miss Rivera's impressive rack that carried the day, but her outstanding use of lip liner.


Miss USA was only awarded the title, if you can call it that, of fourth runner-up. But she needn't despair. I'm sure many a good red-blooded Red State male noticed her fine taste in casual wear (and corresponding skill in wrapping herself in the flag), and will be willing to make her his wife, to have as long as she signs a prenup and to hold until his mid-life crisis.

And if that doesn't work out, there's a pole waiting for her at Ed's Fantasy Girls. She's already got the bikini and the moves.

Curvy and pretty

This happy yellow dress is most appropriately for sale at Dandelion Vintage. It's got everything I love about a vintage dress -- structure, detail, shape, SLEEVES. It's a good size too, Bust 37, Waist 28, Hips 48, although, alas, a bit too small for me.

The dress does have a pen mark on the skirt. I'm sure that if you have a really good professional cleaner in your area, he could get it out, but in my experience most cleaners now don't do anything but throw items into their dry cleaning solution which does nothing but bake ink stains into the fabric. In order to rescue some garments that would otherwise have been ruined I've spot cleaned them myself using mild soap (diluted dishwashing liquid) and water. One thing that I've also found works very well on organic stains is a baby wipe, you know, one of those moist towelette thingys. A few dabs of one of those lifts greasy food and blood stains rather nicely. Of course you'd want to test whatever solvent you were using on a hem or facing to make sure it didn't take the color out with the stain.

And that, my dears, is my one and only helpful hint.

Clothes on Film -- East Side, West Side, and a little bit Bad and Beautiful.

Old movie ho that I am, I can't believe that I hadn't encountered the 1949 film East Side, West Side until last Wednesday. It has a good director, Mervyn LeRoy (No Time for Sergeants, Gypsy). The cast is outstanding: Barbara Stanwyck vs. Ava Gardner (better than Alien vs. Predator any day) fighting over James Mason, supported by Cyd Charisse and Nancy (Mrs. Ronald Reagan) Davis. And for me, the most important thing, is its fabulous costume designer, Academy Award-winning Helen Rose.

Helen Rose, among other things, designed Grace Kelly's wedding gown, the white chiffon dress Elizabeth Taylor wore in Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,
and perhaps my all-time favorite movie dress, the one worn by The Bad and The Beautiful's studio tramp when she descends the staircase to interrupt the conversation between actress Georgia Lorrison (Lana Turner) and producer Jonathan Shields (Kirk Douglas), thus destroying Georgia's dreams of a happy-ever-after with Jonathan forever. God bless the 1950s: the scene clearly implies that Ms. Studio Tramp and Shields were upstairs in Shields' bedroom doing something unmentionable when Georgia came knocking, yet she appears wearing the most architecturally elaborate New Look-style gown imaginable, the kind of dress that had to be applied by a maid and removed with a can-opener. Not the best thing for naughty business of any sort. Alas, I cannot find a photo of the Studio Tramp's dress.

Ms. Rose won one of her Oscars for The Bad and the Beautiful's costumes. She was great at channeling Dior's New Look.

The plot of ESWS doesn't live up to the cast or the costuming: like so many American movies, it starts as a rather hot film about adultery and turns into a confused murder and morality tale. The gorgeous Ava Gardner plays The Bad Girl, Isabel Lorrison (evidently "Lorrison" was a Writer's Guild approved mid-century hot-chick character name), and she makes her appearance wearing the most gorgeous strapless dress imaginable. As a rule, I don't like strapless dresses. Modern ones tend to be ill-fitting -- remember how Sarah Jessica Parker was always showing up to award ceremonies in strapless and quadra-boob, and in one instance, with her bra showing ? -- but Ava's dress fit perfectly, with nary a hint of under-arm cutlet. Of course, Ava didn't get her costume on loan, it was made for her and probably contained as much buttressing as a Gothic cathedral. Oh, those were the days, for dressmaking, if not for on-screen hot monkey sex.

For a while, Helen Rose had her own clothing line, and you can find her dresses for sale online. This beauty is offered by Fuzzy Lizzie at Babylon Mall. A gorgeous 1970s Helen Rose halter dress can be found at antiquedress.com, one of her cocktail dresses at Vintageous, and this gorgeous gown at thefrock.com. Enjoy!

Be still my heart -- the fashions of "The Avengers"

I was, once again, wandering aimlessly in cyberspace, when I came upon The Fashion Guide to Seasons 4 & 5 of "The Avengers." Pages and Pages of Emma Peel's costumes. Cat suits, of course, but also mini-dresses, gowns, the leather body-suit and spiked collar that got an episode banned in the stodgy ole USA.

Back when I was a young teen in Connecticut, wrapping tin-foil on the TV antenna to pick up "The Avengers" from a weak-signaled New York station, I thought Mrs. Peel was the coolest woman in the world. Look what she had: great hair, great figure, great great clothes, a great apartment, a great little car, and a well-groomed gentleman friend who would show up every week with a bottle of champagne and a great adventure, but who never made any other demands on her time. But the coolest thing: Mrs. Peel kicked ass. I got a little high-fashion pre-feminist thrill every time she karate-chopped a bad-guy. Now that I've seen Michelle Yeoh and Maggie Cheung defeating the entire Chinese army, Mrs. Peel seems wimpy in comparison, but she was all I had at the time and I loved her campy little act.

I wanted to grow up to be just like Mrs. Peel. Did I? Alas no -- Ms. Bananas is not wanted.

Damn you, Project Runway!!!!

OH NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!, they auf'd my Vampire Lover, Malan Breton, already!!!

Well, his dress, alas, sucked, although I don't think it fit any worse than Uli's dress, which the judges liked (talk about the pancake bosom syndrome). But I LIKED Malan -- and he's the first designer to say outloud that being eliminated is "humiliating." And, AND, they kept the obnoxious Angela (although I'm happy that the judges praised Vincent's design, just because it annoyed her). She's got Wendy Pepper written all over her O-Hi-O ass.

Grrrrrrrrr --

Oh, the contest was to design a gown to be worn by Miss U.S.A. at the Miss Universe pagent. Surprize, the professional pagent dress designer won.

You can see the dresses here.

Grrrrrrrr.

They're heeeeeeeeere , , ,

So Project Runway (hereinafter "PR") is off and running. Love. Hate. Maybe more hate right now. I HATE that the show still doesn't give the viewers a good close look at the clothes. A bit more focus than the 10 seconds of the runway show might help us -- okay, me -- see what the judges are seeing. Oh, and the judging! There's no fixed criteria, or perhaps, no criteria at all -- last season it seemed like something that would get a designer auf'd one week would get another designer the win the next. Here, in the first episode, it looked like the winner and the loser did the same things and, well, one lost and the other won. Sure glad I don't have any cases in front of that panel.

Oh, and I have a new PR designer boyfriend, Malan Breton. That him up there in the grey suit, kewl how his first design coordinates, isn't it?. The Television Without Pity forum crowd mostly love to hate him, and not entirely without reason. He's a bizarre, affected little man who's been described variously as Count Chocula, Voldemort Lite, Alex from "A Clockwork Orange," Mr. Bean -- really, how could I NOT root for this guy? I hope he vindicates my enthusiasm the way the similarly despised but now wildly popular Kara Janx did last season. Go, Malan!

Fashion Crack

Project Runway, Wednesdays at 10:00 on BRAVO. The new season starts tomorrow. I'm so ashamed of my addiction to this unreal reality show. But I will SO be there, with my little sketch pad, to play along.

The contestants this season appear to be more experienced than last. I LOVE IT that one of the designers, Robert Best, is a Barbie Designer from Mattel, that he grew up in Utah and that he's now living in West Hollywood with his "husband." Mazel tov, Robert, you've come a long way baby! Robert's Barbie designs are vintage and movie inspired -- check out his "Happy Go Lightly" doll (Breakfast at Tiffany's, anyone?) How could I not root for this guy?

I'm also excited to see what Kayne Gillaspie, the pagent dress designer, comes up with. I hope he sticks sequins and beads on everything. One of these designers has to get the "float in the parade" comment from Tim.

There are two "older" women contestants, Laura Bennett, 42 and Stacey Estrella, 40, neither of whom has a traditional design background, and both of whom seek to change careers. I hope they weren't cast only to provide the Wendy Pepper factor or otherwise be the class incompetents, like Marla last season. That kind of casting would be simply sexist, and it certainly doesn't bring out the best in the other contestants. Sure, Nick Verreos was funny when he labeled the trim applied by last year's career-changing Mom "wickety whack," but I'd rather not see a gang of young gay men doing a "Mommy can't drape" routine this season. So I really want these ladies to MAKE IT WORK and uphold the professional honor of mature women everywhere!

Clothes on Film -- The Thomas Crown Affair I

The 1968 version of "The Thomas Crown Affair" is a completely unappreciated mid-century classic if only for divalicious star Faye Dunaway's extravagantly silly and totally fabulous high-fashion wardrobe.

When I was searching for photos of the divine Faye in her divine outfits I landed a couple of movie sites containing fan reviews of TTCA I. Some viewers complained that the movie was spoiled by the dated costumes. Twits. TTCA I was a Modern Film, featuring a groovy semi-psychedelic theme song (The Windmills of Your Mind, which I'm sure made more sense when sung in French), correspondingly mind-blowing experimental split-screen photography and a heroine wearing costumes symbolizing the Sexually Liberated New Professional Woman of the Future (SLNPWotF) as conceived by Hollywood circa 1968.

Viewed in this context, Faye's wardrobe makes perfect sense, because of course a SLNPWotF will always have perfect hair, eyeliner and nails and of course she will wear highly structured and perfectly accessorized mini suits, honking-big hats, inch-long false eyelashes and at least 5 lbs of artificial hair at any given moment because not only is the SLNPWotF all business, seduction is her business. Not to mention the fact that by the time those reviewers finished typing "dated" 60 styles were back in again. Balenciaga, Fall 2006, anyone?

There's one dress, the one Faye wears in The Big Chess Game Seduction Scene, that looks like it could have been made yesterday and that people will want to wear forever. It's a white pleated halterneck mini of the type much loved by Rachael Zoe, stylist to Lindsay Lohan and Nichole Richie, not that those wizzened midgets could ever work it the way Faye did. It helps to have a little flesh to fill out the pleats.

But I do have to acknowledge that in 1968 people didn't go see TTCA I for Faye, even though she was fresh off her triumph in "Bonnie & Clyde," (the costumes for TTCA I were designed by Theodora van Runkle, who also did the costumes for "Bonnie & Clyde) they went to see it for the King of Cool, Steve McQueen playing against type as a Boston Brahmin. He appeared wearing a couple of snappy outfits, too. RIP, Steve, ye were too cool to stay with us too long.

The Carnival of the Couture, July 1, 2006

This week’s Carnival of the Couture is brought to us by Style Bard, who asks the simple but profound question, “In what clothing or accessories would you like to be buried?”

My first thought, when I read this question, was not of clothing – and certainly not of anything currently in my closet – but of literature, specifically, Mary McCarthy’s novel “The Group,” which follows seven Vassar alumnae from their graduation in 1933 to the funeral of one of them in 1940.

Lakey, the leader of the group, is a rich, beautiful, brilliant, capital “L” Lesbian.* She had chosen the group's members with care, in particular plucking the poor but lovely Kay out of the general student body to add a touch of working-class sex-appeal to the mix. After graduation Lakey heads off to Europe to do her Lesbian thing unfettered by upper-class American mores and essentially disappears from the story until her return to the U.S. on the eve of WWII. Very shortly thereafter the object of her unrequited love, Kay, falls – or jumps, having been driven to suicide by her shitheel husband – to her death. What does Lakey do upon hearing the bad news? She goes straight to Fortuny to buy Kay a dress to be buried in, because Kay had always wanted a Fortuny dress but could never afford one. Lakey was clearly a lipstick Lesbian – and a damn good friend.

“The Group” was required non-curricular reading for all women attending a Seven Sisters college way back when I attended one. In these days of disposable chick-lit, it deserves a revival as an antidote to all that pink-jacketed happy-ending crap out there. Note: to fully appreciate "The Group" the reader should brush up on the social history of, and status of women in, the 30s. Caveat: do not, NOT, ever watch the movie -- your eyes will burn shut and your brain will melt, it's that bad.

Ahem, back to serious stuff: me and clothes. I’d love to have a Fortuny dress, but it would be a crying shame to bury one even though the mystery-pleated fabric might be a great find for an archeologist digging me up 1000 years hence. However, anything else in a classical style would do and be very Seven-Sisterish besides. Perhaps a chiton and veil?

Actually, I abhor the idea of my bones being dug up and studied, so I want to be cremated. My fantasy funeral would be an outdoor cremation on an enormous pyre, so perhaps I should leave instructions to be burned in something Brunhilde might have worn when she rode into the flames to join Siegfried in eternity. If the funeral happened in winter (which would be better lest thousands of acres of bone-dry Nevada brush go up in flames with me) I could be wrapped in my beloved vintage fur coat for an extra Nordic touch. Then I’d want my body and pyre soaked in vodka and ignited by torches thrown by the mourners. With luck, a big wind would sweep down the mountains and blow my ashes to the four corners of the world, to disappear and remain undisturbed forever.

*Lakey gets my "I'd do her" fiction vote; you know, that's the vote a lot of straight women used to give Angelina Jolie before she went all mommy on us.

Las Vegas wedding outfit revised.

When I saw from the long-range forecasts that the temperatures in Las Vegas over the wedding weekend were going to average 110 degrees I decided to save the vintage dress for cooler weather, girded my loins, and went out shopping again. Actually, if I had time, I would have gone shopping in Las Vegas where there’s a clothing store every 15 feet, but because I wanted to reserve my L.V. time for my friends I went back to the only store in the area that carries a semi-decent selection of dresses and started trying things on. I swear I must have tried on 30 before I decided on the washable cotton blend (i.e., okay to sweat in) tropical-patterned dress pictured here.

Is it the designers or the store buyers who manage to fill the stores with hundreds of variations of the same dress, one guaranteed to make me look ridiculous? Practically everything in the kind-of-dressy-but-not-too section was high-waisted and very low cut, bordering on baby-doll, not, I repeat NOT, a good look for a certified grown-up. I did try on a few of that style, on the theory that 50,000 designers can’t be wrong, but evidently I have an oversize rib-cage so that empire dresses in my usual size were too tight around the waist-band, then puffed out unnaturally below. The size larger just hung on me like a muumuu. Nooooooooooo!!!

Even the dress I bought has a seam right under the bust although it’s shaped to have a natural waistline. The dress also has substantial shoulder straps, so I don't feel completely exposed. The neckline, though, is pretty low when filled with me instead of the dainty dress-form. I’m really tired of boobage, but since exposure was inevitable I decided to work it. With the help of a sold-state suspension device, aka push-up bra, from Victoria’s Secret and additional the spandex-enhanced cling of the dress I went to the wedding doing my best imitation of Liz Taylor in her “White Diamonds” period.

My efforts didn’t go unnoticed. As the party was winding down, after the champagne toast with the parents and grand-parents of the newly-weds and, oh, five or six tequila-shot toasts among the remaining rowdy bunch after the elders had departed, the groom, by way of good-bye, went face down in my cleavage, gave my bound and elevated bosom a couple of good squeezes, and announced, LOUDLY, that I had some “rock-hard titties” on me. I think he meant that as a compliment. The next day I had beard-burn on my chest.

Shortly after he made his startling announcement, the bride put him to bed – alone – and we, the women who remained standing, went out for a midnight snack. A good time was had by all.

The Trashy Diva Wedding Gown

STOP THE PRESSES! The divine Divas at Trashy Diva have turned some of their best designs into wedding gowns. (Okay, my internet incompetence is showing because I can't get a direct link to the Trashy Diva dresses page, but that's where they're shown.) The prices range from $248 to $400, which is practically a gift in wedding-gown terms. All y'all vintage loving brides-to-be need to get over there and take a good look at the Divas' extra-special stuff.

[rant] And about taking a good look: I am currently trying, again, to break a prenup on behalf of some formerly sweet young thing who thought that she didn't need a lawyer because she had love on her side. Uh, no, it doesn't work that way. If you happen to be about to marry an older, much wealthier man, and he hands you a prenup on the eve of your wedding, what the hell do you think he's thinking about? Not love or the damn guest list, that for sure. So, should you be asked to enter into such an agreement (1) hire a lawyer; (2) make sure you listen to what the lawyer is saying; (3) make sure that future hubby's disclosure of his assets is really full disclosure, i.e., ask for statements, copies of deeds, pay to have your lawyer's paralegal go do an asset search on the guy; and (4) if the prenup basically states that you leave the marriage with nothing, ask yourself, really, really, really ask yourself, if you want to marry a man who essentially is renting you by the hour. [/rant]

P.S. Prenuptial agreements are a good idea when there is an equality of assets and bargaining power, and are a very good idea when an older couple with children get married, to make sure the kids get what they should out of the parent's estate. But that's a whole other rant.

Otherwise, congratulations!

Stephen Burrows is a Designing God!

Stephen Burrows will be receiving a special CFDA award this year, and it's about time.

Burrows, an African-American designer who became famous in the 70s, basically invented the disco dress. That would be the disco dress that went to Studio 54 and was allowed to jump the line to party with Halston & Andy, not the disco dress worn to "Saturday Night Fever" brawls in the 'burbs.

Burrows signature look was a silk jersey dress with "lettuce" edging, like the gorgeous mango number pictured. Everybody (including moi) wanted to wear his clothes, and evidently everybody still wants to wear his clothes because when I went looking for vintage Burrows online there were very few, and many, like the gorgeous mango number, were already sold. And take a good look at the price -- $1350.

As creative and honored as Burrows was (hello! dress in the Smithsonian!), he ran into financial difficulties in the 80s, and basically disappeared from the scene for 20 years. He's made a comeback recently, with Henri Bendel, the store that originally offered his clothing, reopening a Burrows boutique. His spring 2006 runway show was great, but alas, he did not have a fall 2006 show. I hope that was out of choice and not out of necessity.

Swank Vintage has a nice summary of Burrows' life and career. The Washington Post has a story about his comback here, along with a picture of a new gorgeous mango number.

If you should find a vintage Burrows dress, hang on to it. If you wear it, it'll make you happy and beautiful; if you sell it, it'll make you rich.

It's June! Time to get married wearing a vintage gown from Retrodress!

I never really wanted to get married, but I always wanted to be a bride, i.e., have a huge party all about ME, have all my relatives feeling obliged to give a present to ME, and, most especially, buy a super-duper dress just for ME. (See? Another human being, like an actual husband, is simply superfluous in Gidget's world.) As a result, I spend a lot of time looking at wedding gowns, only to find most of them boring or ugly, leaving me to despair of ever finding the perfect fuel for my fantasy. So when I clicked on the Retrodress link over at A Dress A Day, I melted into a little puddle of fantasy goo gazing at Ms. Retrodress' beautiful collection of vintage bridal wear.

Look at this 1950s princess model. It's so exquisitely shapely and simple that the wearer could actually be convincing as a virgin bride. And do check out the sleeves (yea! sleeves!) -- those pleats are just the perfect little detail.

I love this 60's Audrey meets Jackie number, too. That unadorned column would make any bride look tall and slender. Add the jacket and it becomes an outfit a bride of any age and experience could wear.

Then there's this vanilla wool Yves Saint Laurent suit, not listed in the wedding section, but perfect for a civil ceremony -- in Paris. It should be worn with a polka-dot blouse and a boater hat for the full Saint Laurent effect. Damn, that suit's so sharp it hurts to look at it.

The beaded Malcolm Starr dress at left (also not listed in the wedding section, but heck, it's white) has one of my favorite details, a Watteau train. The whole dress is so damn sophisticated: I see the wearer going straight from a Las Vegas wedding to her third or fourth millionaire husband to the baccarat tables. Not a bad way to kill a weekend, no?

Do go visit Retrodress. It's full of the stuff dreams are made of.

Las Vegas wedding dilema solved -- right quick!

Well, that was unexpectedly easy. I posted my tale of shopping woe, then I went browsing at e-bay and found this beauty. With a matching coat, no less! I do lurve the whole idea of the evening coat, and I always think of such coats when I see celebrities shivering on the red carpet (even Los Angeles isn't that warm in February, folks). Then I point and laugh at all those skinny beeyotches who sacrificed comfort to advertise a designer-donated dress. Of course, I don't think I'll be needing the coat in Las Vegas in June; the temperature is already hitting the 90s there.

Anyhoo, this dress meets all my criteria -- it's shapely, structured, not too revealing (actually, I would have loved three-quarter sleeves, but one can't have everything) but not at all Church Lady, a wedding-friendly color (this seasons' dresses are all in white, black or brown; very chic but not really festive), and not too expensive, especially not for two pieces. I think instead of wearing a necklace I'll pin dress-clips on the corners of the sweetheart neckline. Or maybe I'll break out the three-strand pearls, and really work the lady thing. Whatever, me happy.

The Carnivale of the Couture, May 29, 2006 -- Farrah Fawcett made me miserable!

Oh, okay, okay, her hair -- and the hair of every other woman of that era -- made me miserable. That's because, gentle reader, I am among the hair impaired, and nothing short of a full wig will give me winged mall hair. I felt left out at the time, but I have since become reconciled to my handicap . . . although I still think I deserve a sticker and a special parking place, dammit.

Speaking of things that make me miserable -- I went dress shopping today. A friend of mine is getting married in Las Vegas, around cocktail time, in a suite at the Wynn. Muy glamorous, no? So after I went through my closet and determined that nothing I owned would be appropriate to the occassion, I girded my loins (literally -- brand new undies) and waded into the Memorial Day sales, only to be beaten into the dirt by wave after wave of fug. All the designers or buyers for the limited shopping immediately available to me are thinking either Keira* Knightly in Pride & Prejudice (sheer, empire waist, low cut, spaghetti straps; there's a film-related trend for me to dislike, because I am SOOOOO not Keira Knightly!), Nicole Richie on the Strip (sleazy draped jersey halters), or the Church Lady (ruffled, calf-length floral prints). Meanwhile I'm thinking Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra, after she hooked up with Richard Burton, only with less decolletage (alas, I own no honking big diamond necklaces). As usual, I'm out of the mainstream, fashion-wise.

I did try on a bubble skirt while I was shopping. Interesting, but I couldn't figure out what the hell to wear with it. So I left it in the store and vowed to keep looking.

Oh, how rude of moi! This week's Carnivale of the Couture comes to us from Fashion is a Verb.

*Thanks to Go Fug Yourself for the correct spelling of Keira that I was too lazy to find on my own!

The Carnival of the Couture, May 21: 18th Century Austrian Hussar Hookers from Outer Space.

The Style Graduate asks:

"For this week's Carnivale, I want to know what runway look you would wear as a Halloween costume. And no cheating; it has to be an outfit actually sent down a runway by a designer! So go forth, fashion bloggers, and find photos of your costumes!"

Well, I looked, as far as I was able (the people who pay me actually expected some product this week, dammit) for the Ultimate Designer Carmen Miranda costume, because I can never pass up a good fruit hat. Alas, some of the formerly reliable sources of outrage, for example, Australian Fashion Week, let me down. So I went for that fallback Halloween standard: the Hooker Costume.

Remember those Ferre boots posted by the Superfantastic Manolo, the ones I said were obviously designed for the "dominatrix who caters to men with the fetish for the Hussar of the Austrian Empire?" Top left, A.F. Vandervorst has thoughtfully designed the complete outfit (well, it could use a shako) for that same dominatrix.

And long live and Lucifer Bless (hello! Halloween!) our Funky Little Fashion Troll, John Galliano. In this celibacy-enforcing outfit, he gives us, by way of the French Revolution, Mad Max and the Da Vinci Code -- the Opus Dei Vampire Hooker! All she needs is a cilice to match that mantrap on her panties and one of those cute plastic jack-o-latern buckets to be completely ready for Trick or Treat! Vive le Dior!


Here's the Marie Antoinette hooker to complete the Revolution theme in case you want to go for the group prize at the party. From World at Australian Fashion Week.

And last, but obviously, far far far far far from least, we have your Madison Avenue gray flannel Inuit Crustacean Hooker from Mars. The down filled garment is not only chic, but it converts to a sleeping bag good to -20 F, covers a variety of alien appendages, and offers convenient button access to the naughty bits!

By Yegor Zaitsev, from Russian Fashion Week.

"Svim Vare, Effening Vare!"

Look at this dress -- why the heck do I like it?

The auction for this dress has already ended, and thank goodness, because if it hadn't I might have done something really really foolish -- like bought it! If I wore this dress I'd look like a weird combination of kitchen curtains, an over-stuffed couch and mutton dressed as lamb. Whatever -- when I first saw this frivolous frock I had a full-bodied "ooooooh cute!" reaction, and, dammit, I still think it's cute. I love the retro flower-power print even though it renders the dress appropriate only for girls ages 16 to 21, and 21 may be pushing it. I love its ruffly ruffly sleeves, even though only very tall women or Marie Antoinette should wear them. I love its not-quite-empire high-waisted silhouette, even though I don't think it would flatter me at all.

If I had a pretty teenaged daughter I would have bought this dress for her, and she no doubt would have taken one look at it and said "ewwwwwwwwwww, MOM!" And then I would have carried it off to my closet so that I could have it to look at on sad rainy days. *lesigh*

Let the Carnival begin! The Carnival of the Couture

The topic: Clothes on Film. The question:

"What movie, TV show or video featured clothes that made an impression on you? What movie, TV or video wardrobe did you try to emulate? How many times did you dress up as Emma Peel (or for the mens, John Steed) at Halloween, and if not, why not? 'Fess up, I know you have at least one vest a la Annie Hall, or torn sweat-shirt a la Flashdance, stuffed back there in your Closet of Shame."

People are feeling a lot of 50s love right now.

The Style Graduate is loving the 50s through Reese Witherspoon's "Ring of Fire" wardrobe. She's also seeking ways to reproduce the look in real life. Go Style Graduate!

Erin at A Dress A Day wants to start a movement, a "What Would Doris Wear" movement. I'd sure wear the tee shirt -- WWDD!

The Petulant Feminine goes 50s upscale with Grace Kelly in "Rear Window." The icy Hitchcock blonde never goes out of fashion, does she? I only wish we had more ice and less hott, if you get my drift.

The Fashionable Kiffen isn't crying over the New Look a la Evita.

Lisa writes: "One movie that's not well known (because it isn't very good) is just full of the most magnificent New Look clothing: THE LAST TIME I SAW PARIS (1954), starring Elizabeth Taylor and Van Johnson. Lots of other famous people are in it, too: Donna Reed (playing a bad girl, no less!), Walter Pidgeon, Eva Gabor, Roger Moore. The clothes are simply stunning; they're by Helen Rose."

Yes, "The Last Time I Saw Paris" (a film version of "Babylon Revisited", poor F. Scott Fitzgerald) is a truly bad film with a truly fantastic wardrobe. Lovers of the New Look have to put up with a lot to get a Clothes on Film fix.

Tailypo writes:

"When I was in high school the popular silhouette was the inverted triangle: oversized tops with enormous shoulder pads and dropped shoulder seams whittling down to lean, long legs. Even footwear was made unnecessarily complicated and fussy – fold down boots, elaborate shoelaces, and oversized slouchy socks. Clothing and makeup were fluorescent and the hair was whipped into permed and frosted whale spouts with cantilevered bangs.

As a sturdy, big-legged farm girl with a face like a frying pan, this was not my best look. So when I went to a college screening of Jean-Luc Goddard’s A Bout de Souffle I was as captivated by the Jean Seberg look. It was as refreshing to me as it must have been in girdled and bouffanted 1960.

Seberg was petite, gamine, and had fragile, doll-like features – her boy cut and capris didn’t really suit me. But the freedom of her style! So trim and simple, perfect for scampering around Paris with your ugly/gorgeous gangster boyfriend. Black and white striped boatnecks or a white fitted newsboy sweatshirt over fitted black Capri pants and ballet flats, elevated from looking sloppy by an interesting shaped handbag or a lovely tailored coat. Her face was fresh and unpainted and her hair clipped to a man’s cut, which came across as soft rather than severe simply because of her youth. In an era that was all about trying too hard, her look typified an effortless cool."

Thanks to Wikipedia, Jean Seberg in "A Bout de Souffle"

Scarpediem at Shoesense breaks the mold (doesn't she always?) with a little "Moonlighting" love.

Shoelover is all over Wonder Woman. (I always wanted a pair of bullet proof cuffs myself!)

Maria at The Runway Scoop liked the funky 80s fashion of "Desperately Seeking Susan" and "Pretty in Pink," and she lived the dream!

Kiss Me, Stace, is right up to date with some Traveling Pants, and turns it into the Defense of the Skirt.

Speaking of the 80s, IFC ran "sex, lies, and videotape" a week or two ago, and watching it I realized that not only do I still own the pieces of Cynthia Bishop's (Laura San Giacomo) iconic outfit of tank top, short denim skirt and cowboy boots, I still wear it. All together. Like that. My usual venue for that look involves motorcycles and barbequed turkey legs, so it's not out of place, but still, the outfit is pushing the 20-year mark and my knees aren't what they used to be. I'm going to retire the look, unless I find one of those kewl Bundeswehr tank tops, in which case the outfit will get another five years.

Oooooooooh, pretty, 1 and 2

I found these two patterns while cruising for inspiration on ebay (my home away from home, if you hadn't figured that out from my previous posts). The Fabiani pattern plays to my current mod/sixties obsession. It's so structured and space-age (and I bet the model is picking up satellite signals on that hairdo). Apparently a lot of other people are feeling the sixties vibe, because there are 15 bids on the Fabiani pattern at this writing. It's a good size, bust 38, although for the real vintage look a bit of chest binding would be in order.

The Nina Ricci pattern is just plain pretty, what with the lace and bows and fringe. Gets all my girly juices flowing. This pattern is also in the hard-to find-in-vintage bust 38.

Both of these patterns are from the collection of vintagecassandra.

The Carnival of the Couture, May 8

It is the Clothesaholic's privilege to host the Carnivale of the Couture for the week of May 8, 2006. My theme is -- Clothes on Film! What movie, TV show or video featured clothes that made an impression on you? What movie, TV or video wardrobe did you try to emulate? How many times did you dress up as Emma Peel (or for the mens, John Steed) at Halloween, and if not, why not? 'Fess up, I know you have at least one vest a la Annie Hall, or torn sweat-shirt a la Flashdance, stuffed back there in your Closet of Shame.

The movie still is from the awkwardly re-titled film "In the Mood for Love." The elegant cheongsams worn by Maggie Cheung are mentioned in every review of the film, and rightly so. Each dress admirably reflected the the theme of the movie -- sexuality restrained. Watching "In the Mood for Love" made me regret having recently sold my cheongsam on ebay, even though it never fit me quite right since I bear no resemblance in any way to a willowy Asian beauty. But heck, I can dream, can't I? And that's exactly the point.

Please sent your links to me at double_m_one(AT)sbcglobal.net. I'll try to get them posted by noon PT on Monday.

Forget the Oscars! It's the Metropolitan Costume Institute gala.

Yes, it's that time of year again -- The Metropolitan Museum of Art's annual Costume Institute Gala, when almost everyone who is anyone in fashion works the red carpet with a designer on her arm in a display of the best and the worst fashion of the year. This year the Gala is celebrating the opening of the exhibit "AngloMania," and at left you see Diane von Furstenberg, whom I adore, taking the theme a leeeetle too far.

Jessica at Go Fug Yourself has provided her usual brilliant commentary. I agree with her assessments except for her approval of Michelle Monaghan's dress, which is entirely too night-gowny for me. I'm also on the fence about Linda Evangalista's rather Grandma's curtains outfit, although I must agree that the woman is fierce! Fierce! I tell you!

Trendwise, there was a lot of white on the Red Carpet. There also seemed to be less bosom, thank goodness. I'm so over other women's breasts. I'm particularly over Donatella Versace's, even though it appears that she recently acquired a new pair so large that she needs two escorts to keep her level. But when Victoria Beckham is more or less covered up (and I think Posh looks quite nice there, which is not something I thought I'd ever say) I think it's safe to identify a legitimate trend.

Anyway, enough from me. Look, enjoy, snark!

Caftans and tunics and turbans, oh my!

If I were a lady of leisure, and I mean true leisure, spared even little but sleeve-threatening tasks like making a cup of tea (gas range) or scooping the litter box, I'd spend the day swanning around in a caftan. Sweeping robes are certainly a more elegant, in fact, downright regal, alternative to my usual loungewear, which at the moment consists of two well-worn pairs of flannel pajamas and a cat-hair covered robe.

Last spring, I think designers tried to revive the caftan as an evening look. I'm not surprised that trend didn't get very far; I'm sure no fashionista now would wear one lest her public think she put on a few pounds.

Anyway, look at this beauty for sale by Wild Swans Vintage Clothing Auctions. Here's a Moroccan-style tunic version (djellaba) from Nelda's Vintage Clothing for those days when too much fabric around the arms will be a safety hazard for a lady of leisure. The pattern is from Chez Centarian. I'm very tempted to make the orange view, although I wonder if I have the patience to pile on all the ornamentation I'd like.

I'd wear my caftan with a turban and some kid of sparkly mule or sandal to get the full Gloria Swanson/chubby-but-still-beautiful-Elizabeth-Taylor-in-the-70s effect. Then I'd put on a pair of ginormous sunglasses and waft around my garden, languidly dead-heading roses while waiting for Joe Gillis to appear. "All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my close-up."