Run! Oh, no, you can't . . .

Shoes from Alexander McQueen's Spring 2010 collection. Way to harsh my pretty buzz, Alex.

Pretty in the White House

Jason Wu Spring 2010

Fashion Week Month is over, or almost over, and I've only just peeked at the London, Milan and Paris collections. The designers showing in those cities are still doing edgier looks, which, frankly, look a little five minutes ago to me. Fashionistas been parading around in origami-ed, asymetrical, sheer, crotch-revealing creations for several years now, and it's time for teh pretty everywhere.

Meanwhile, Shelly O has been out and about, with her outfits receiving mixed reviews. I hope she had a personal shopper checking out the New York Spring shows (and if she doesn't have one, I'd like to apply for the job) because there was more than enough First-Lady-ready fashion on the runway. In fact, given all the ladylike pretty the New York designers produced, one could assume they were all auditioning for the role of 21st Century Oleg Cassini. (For you young things, Oleg Cassini was Jackie Kennedy's "official" designer, although I have read that he also served as a cover so that she could wear the French designers she preferred.) Michael Kors Spring 2010, with the exception of the plastic cut-out numbers, would be great for a lady-representative-on-the-go, being so neat and all, not to mention that the shift-dresses are that gentle A-line that looks good on everyone. Brides shopping at Kleinfeld take note.

Here are some of my imaginary personal shopper picks:

Gary Graham Spring 2010

Barbara Tfank Spring 2010

Barbara Tfank Spring 2010

Christian Siriano Spring 2010

Milly Spring 2010

Isaac Mizrahi Spring 2010

Lela Rose Spring 2010

Ralph Rucci Spring 2010

Stephen Burrows Spring 2010

Stephen Burrows Spring 2010

All these looks would work for the modern wife of a President, Prime Minister, Senator, Congressman or King. First of all, these outfits are all quite lady-like (okay, the Milly skirt could use an inch or two or three), and we want our First Ladies to be ladylike, don't we? I mean, consider the alternative, although I think it's inevitable that Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan or one of the Kardasian sisters will become First Lady or a real princess, or worse, in the near future, alas. Second, many of these outfits come with co-ordinating coats or jackets, which both confer dignity and protect the First Lady from undignified drafts. Imagine not only being forced to sit through a lot of boring speaches but being seated beneath an air vent for the duration. Third, none of these outfits is a bright polyester pantsuit, that curse on American political women.

Besides, that Stephen Burrow's pant outfit is to die for, ain't it? That really looks like it was designed for Shelly O. I hope she takes the hint.

As for the rest of those looks, if no political lady wants them, I'll take them.

Pretty in Prints

I love big, splashy, happy prints. In fact, the last dress I bought was done in a huge pink and orange floral print on a bright yellow background that could easily double as hazard flag in a marine emergency, or as an accent pillow in a domestic one. There's a lot to make me happy in the Spring 2010 collections, U.S. and European. In the near future the Fug Girls will probably be accusing a lot of celebrities of dressing like couches, but why should couches have all the fun?

Rochas Spring 2010

Kenzo Spring 2010

Giles Spring 2010

Dries van Noten Spring 2010

Etro Spring 2010

Tracy Reese Spring 2010

DKNY Spring 2010

Dennis Basso Spring 2010

The variety of prints is great, too: Dries van Noten and Kenzo did ethnic looks, designers as diverse as Anna Sui and Rochas, did florals, and there were abstracts all over the place. Even the print haters should find something to love.

Clothes on Film on Project Runway

One of film's great dresses on Gloria Grahame in "The Big Sleep"

Episode 6, Season 6 of Project Runway: the contestants were told to make costumes for films in five different genres, film noir, sci fi, adventure, period, and Western. Or maybe it was to make garments inspired by the costumes for the different film genres. Whatever their challenge, one thing was clear. The contestants don't watch enough movies. Apparently the designers who drew "Western" have never seen a Ralph Lauren collection, either.

Clair Trevor and Dick Powell in "Murder, My Sweet"

Three designers chose film noir as their genre, and heaven only knows what they thought film noir is. Films of that genre (although some critics claim that film noir is a style influenced by German Expressionism, not a genre) are usually about middle or lower class people doing sleazy things, and while gowns make an appearance, usually on the femme fatale or good-bad girl working in a nightclub, the iconic film noir look is simple, a dress or a blouse and skirt. That's the approach costume designer Renie Conley took when, at age 80, she designed the wardrobe for Body Heat, the 1981 movie in the film noir style.

Jane Greer and Robert Mitchum in "Out of the Past"

One designer, Althea, kind of got it, although her design looked like the outfit a film noir character would wear after she got thrown out of a speeding car. Irina's design looked like a nightgown, which could have worked if she left off that mysterious white tent. Louise's design was just confused, which surprised me because she usually wears vintage-inspired clothes, which I assume she makes herself. The dress she wore for the judging was great, not that I can find a picture of it online.

Veronica Lake in "This Gun for Hire"

However this Episode did give me an excuse to post pictures of some of my favorite film noir actresses looking good in high contrast. Audrey Totter, shown wearing a fur coat, practically made a career out of being the bad girl who would do anything for a mink.

Lisabeth Scott in "Desert Fury"

Audrey Totter and Ray Milland in "Alias Nick Beal"

I totally didn't get two of the judges' top three picks, Epperson's and Christopher's. Epperson's genre was Western, and his design might work for, say, a punk biker Western. Shootout at Thunderdome, perhaps? Many viewers thought Epperson should have won this episode, but the raggedy-uneven whatever didn't do it for me.

Christopher did a period look. For a vampire wedding; his description. Thank goodness he qualified the character and the look, because then this outfit might fit in, say, a Van Helsing type of period movie. Otherwise it's from a period on another planet. A lot of viewers really liked his garment. I bet they liked Van Helsing, too.

My favorite design was Logan's. He chose action-adventure, and I can actually see Angelina Jolie stuffed into this outfit for Tomb Raider 3. Poor Logan is getting a lot of grief on the interwebs because he's straight and because he designs clothes that look like, well, clothes. Hang in there, Logan! I'm a fan.

NB: I wrote a post about Karen Walker's Prisoner-inspired collection; now IFC is rebroadcasting the entire Prisoner series. This time, I get to see it in COLOR!!! Damn, I'm old.

Emmys, Schmemmys

So I turned on E!'s barely watchable Emmy Red Carpet coverage (since E!'s decided to clean up its pre-show coverage by getting rid of every vaguely interesting host, the shows get worse with every award), and I looked at Yahoo's and Style.com's red carpet slideshows, and I came to this conclusion:

People dressed in satin ballgowns, major bling or black tie in the middle of a hot, sunny, Los Angeles afternoon look RIDICULOUS. Ah has spoken.

I am sick to death of ill-fitting strapless gowns, one shoulder gowns, wrinkled satin gowns, flesh-colored gowns, adult prom dresses and faux wedding gowns.

Here are a few dresses I liked, including, in spite of myself, a couple of one-shouldered items.

Mila Kunis in Monique L'Hullier

Jennifer Carpenter in Zuhair Murad

Kristin Chenoweth in Zuhair Murad

Holly Hunter in Georges Hobeika

Chloe Sevigny in Isaac Mizrahi

There are some definite themes here: light, shiny, and Zuhair Murad, who was unknown to me. Must check out his shows, because, like Rainman and ravens, I like shiiiiny. My favorite dress, though, was the Monique L'Hullier worn by Mila Kunis: it's kinda Goth, kinda pink (Goth dried-blood pink),kinda different, and not, thank the fashion gods, satin. Good work, Mila!

As Promised -- Pretty in Pink!

Pink is everywhere on the New York runways this season, and there's a version of pink for everyone.

Tori Burch -- Pink for the Ladies That Lunch

Mulberry -- Pink for the Daughers That Brunch

L'Wren Scott -- Bombshell Pink

Lela Rose -- Working Girl Pink

DKNY -- Cocktail Pink

Devi Kroell -- Pink for the Fashionista

Naeem Kahn -- Uptown Girl Pink

Marc by Marc Jacobs -- Downtown Girl Pink

Zack Posen -- Star Trek Nerd Pink

L'Wren Scott -- Red Carpet Pink

Douglas Hannant -- Goddess Pink

What a nightmare for the Goth girl, eh?

Michael Kors is Neat.

Michael Kors' collections are often (maybe always) vintage inspired, which of course I think is great. He claimed he was thinking about architecture when he designed his Spring 2010 collection, but I see retro-futuristic (okay, architectural) André Courrèges , which makes me a very happy Clothesaholic indeed.

1960s Vintage André Courrèges

Kors showed neat, structured, coats and dresses, simple shapes, lots of white, space-age zippering, cut-outs and top stiching. There were no gowns at all, instead, Kors did separates and short dresses for cocktail and evening. His collection really stood out in a season where teh pretty trend produced lots of soft, ruffled, fluttery clothes, but the clothes were still on trend because they were done in beautiful soft colors.

All Michael Kors Spring 2010

And while we're on the subject of Mr. Kors, I didn't realize how much he contributed to Project Runway until this season, when he's mostly absent. The show needs his taste and acid wit to stay on track, because right now it's an exercise in bland. Producers, hear me!!!