63rd Emmy Awards -- the Glee Gang.

Adolescent angst does not end with high school, I just have to hope that the nerds  will end as up as software billionaires, and the cool kids will sink into well deserved obscurity.  Soon.

Now let's pause to reconsider how fabulous Naya Rivera looked at the Emmy awards.

And now I'm left to wonder why, given the heat generated by the dancers on Glee, does the singing midget get all the attention from fashion magazines?  I'm refering to Lea Michele, who, among other things, was on the cover of the September issue of Harper's Bazaar.  In close-up, heaven help us. Interesting issue of Bazaar, btw: it included articles about Michele Bachman and the Duchess of Windsor, and a feature devoted to the fashion of Margaret Thatcher.  Maybe the editors thought they'd balance things out by putting a Jewish girl on the cover?  Anyhoo . . .

Lea Michele in Marchesa -- What. Ever.  During the preshow, Kelly Osborne said that she asked Marchesa to loan her a dress, but they refused, saying that they were only going to dress one actress for the Emmys.  Well, there were two, Lea and Elizabeth Moss.  Whose nose should be out of joint?  If it's Lea, how could we tell?

Dianna Agron in Roksanda Ilincic -- A Spelling Challenge.  Dianna always looks like she borrowed her clothes from a 50-year-old WASP society matron.  Apparently, Dianna goes to the matron's hairdresser as well.  Her outfit is too old, too blue, too wrinkled, in short, a material crime against a beautiful young woman.

Heather Morris in Masai Payan -- Sorry, Heather, You're Out.  I love Heather Morris, I love the character she plays on Glee.  BUT!  This dress -- it looks like something a Project Runway contestant would make for an "avant garde" couture challenge where the only material allowed is toilet paper.  And on top of it all she's got a hair Tsunami.  Oh, no, honey, just . . . no.   

Jayma Mays in Zuhair Murad -- So Sweet My Teeth Hurt.  On Glee, Jayma's character is afflicted by Innocence Virgin on Stupidity.  Someone needs to tell her she doesn't need to dress that way in real life.

Jenna Ushkowitz in Gadah Paris -- Props for Originality.  Jenna took a chance, and it's -- okay.  It is nice to see something that's not the same old strapless mermaid/one shouldered red yadda yadda, but once again, this look rather old for her.  Still, nice try.

Amber Riley in Unknown -- Talk About Old!  When I first saw Amber in this dress, I thought "she must have gone shopping in her grandmother's closet."  Then I realized that her grandmother would probably be about my age, and I wouldn't have something like this in my closet.  It reminds me of the dresses my heavier aunts used to wear to Italian weddings in the 1980s.  Who did this too poor Amber?

Golden Globes. Just peachy -- with a dash of pink.

According to Yahoo OMG, my predictions for worst dresses were pretty accurate, although Yahoo's dress watchers liked Halle Berry's long-line bra dress, which looks even worse in close-up than it does in the picture I posted originally.  Check out the Yahoo ratings here.

In other news, there were a lot of blush beauties (and a few blush uglies -- oh Julianne!) among the gowns:

Natalie Portman in Victor and Rolf.  The Yahoo-ettes didn't like this look; I loved it, especially that red, red rose.

Vanessa Williams.  The captions say this is pink; looks white to me.  Damn, I'm tired of the Wilma Flintstone one-shouldered look.

Naya Rivera in Badgely-Mishka.  Even with the tortured bosom, she looks better than she did at the 2010 Emmy's, where she went flamenco-goes-to-the-prom. 

Megan Fox in Armani Prive.  Gossips say that Megan wants to be taken seriously, which explains the lady-like look.  Frankly, I liked her better when she was all T & A.  Check out her shoes -- totally crippling and totally hawt!

Rhea Durham in Michael Kors.  A shade darker would have been better.

Anne Hathaway in Armani Prive.  Some sites call her dress bronze, looks pink to me.  But forget the color -- look at the shoulders.  Nooooooooo!!!!

Lea Michele in Oscar de la Renta, looking just like I thought she'd look, except in pink.  Wake me up when she's over.

Clare Danes in Burberry.  She was named best dressed last year for a sparkley nude strapless number; I like this dress better.  Color on a blonde girl is always a good thing.

Emma Stone in Calvin Klein Collection.  This minamalist look was one of my favorite dresses of the evening, especially because of the cut-down-to-there back.  Go Emma, whoever the heck you are.

Oscar de la Renta Pre-Fall 2011: Princess moments galore!

If you'd like to check out all the Princess Moments, check out Oscar's entire collection here.

Oscar de la Renta always does a lot of red-carpet or evening looks, but he went overboard for Pre-Fall 2011.  Princess moments everywhere: maybe he was inspired by the engagement of Wills and Kate (do you give a rat's ass?  I sure don't) as Vogue suggests, or maybe he just wanted to get a jump on the 2011 Awards season: the People's Choice Awards are January 5, the Critics Choice Awards are January 14, the Golden Globe Awards are January 16, and the SAG Awards are January 30.  And let's not forget my very FAVORITE holiday, National Pie Day, January 23, although I don't think I'll be dressing in Oscar for that event unless he makes aprons. 

Oscar de la Renta always does a lot of red-carpet or evening looks, but he went overboard for Pre-Fall 2011. Princess moments everywhere: maybe he was inspired by the engagement of Wills and Kate (do you give a rat's ass? I sure don't) as Vogue suggests, or maybe he just wanted to get a jump on the 2011 Awards season: the People's Choice Awards are January 5, the Critics Choice Awards are January 14, the Golden Globe Awards are January 16, and the SAG Awards are January 30. And let's not forget my very FAVORITE holiday, National Pie Day, January 23, http://www.chiff.com/a/american-pie-day.htm although I don't think I'll be dressing in Oscar for that event unless he makes aprons.

I'm sure Rachel Zoe found the whole collection BANANAS and just DIED before she claimed a couple of dresses for Demi and Cameron, even though neither of them has had any reason to be at any award show in years. I also predict that Lea Michele will wear an Oscar to the SAG Awards, and that Miley Cyrus is going to show up somewhere she doesn't belong wearing the biggest and most formal of these gowns and be interviewed while chewing gum. I actually propose a contest – guess who will show up wearing which dress. The prize will be a cyber pat on your back from me and whatever you want to give yourself as a special treat. I recommend a piece of pie. Key lime: winter is citrus season.

Anyhoo, these are my guesses.  Click on the links to see how I reached my conclusion.



Carrie Mulligan

 

Dita von Teese



Dita von Teese, Ann Hathaway (if Rachel lets her)

Katie Perry, Cate Banchette (hows that for a duo?)



Eva Longoria, Demi Moore (if Rachel can get it in white)

Dianna Angron (without jacket)

Miley Cyrus (with chewing gum)



Eva Longoria, Naya Rivera, Juliana Rancic (is de la Renta in the E! budget?)

If you'd like to check out all of Oscar's Princess Moments, you can see the entire collection here.