Someone needs a nice cup of tea.

I browse the coverage of London Fashion Week more for teh crayzee than for the clothes because -- and hats off to them -- British designers are generally the least restrained and commercial. But this season I didn't just find teh crayzee, I found teh crayzee and the depressed. Good lord, there were just acres of dense, light-absorbing, soul-sucking black in styles I can only describe as prison matron fetish burhka.

And here's the thing -- If fashion reflects the zeitgeist, what do these designers know that we don't know? Did a memo circulate through their workshops stating "the End is Near and we ain't kidding?" Is the British economy taking a nose dive? Has Kate Moss' coke supply been cut off, or Pete Doherty's heroin been cut with too much baby laxative, thus impeding the flow of fabulousness to the New(est) Swinging London? Are the designers all morning the loss of Posh and Becks to L.A.? Are there no doctors in London writing prescriptions for Zoloft, Paxil, or Wellbutrin? What??

Of course, the London shows were not without their bright spots. Duro Olowu, who designed the dress that became the A-Dress-A-Day obsession, showed a colorful collection. The graduates of Central St. Martins also managed to put out some bright, if curiously covered up, garments. But meanwhile, I think a cheer-the-f*ck-up British fashion designer intervention is in order.


The designers, top to bottom, are Biba, Jens Laugesen, Burberry (who actually showed in Milan), Gareth Pugh and Nathan Jenden.

Agggh!

My hard drive fried right in the middle of fashion week and awards season! Curses on you, computer gods! Curses!

Oh. my. gawd. I would. like, totally wear this Marc Jacobs stuff.

Marc Jacobs is the designer who famously brought us high-fashion grunge in the early 90s and, last year, super-wide pleated and bloused Capri-length pants. In other words, he's always been a trend-setting designers whose actual designs I never found wearable (although I have, on occasion, been known to wear a plaid flannel shirt). So yesterday, as I browsed through the mostly dismal Fall 2007 New York Fashion Week collections, I stopped, stunned, amazed and delighted, at Jacobs' collection. Of course, he laid a trap for me -- the first look out was the orange -- ORANGE! -- coat. And it's not only orange, it's sleek and chic and would probably look good on almost anyone. And he showed more gorgeous coats, and sleek tailored pantsuits that could be worn without embarrassment by, say, a middle-aged professional woman, and chic and tidy skirt sets . . . you know, things that most adult woman might actually want to wear.

Of course, the collection is not without its WTF? moments, and most of the cocktail and evening wear heads straight for Cloe Sevigny country, but if mass-market retailers pick up the tailored day-wear trend, I'll be happy to leave evening wear to the fashionistas.

I couldn't help noticing as I browsed through the photos at Style.com that the models this year are as incredibly, painfully thin as they were in years past, in spite of the recent discussions about discouraging starvation among runway models. Meanwhile, the average weight of Americans is now 188.3 lbs (13.5 stone or 85.6 kg). So who, exactly, is selling what to whom? And why can't we, as a society, work toward a happy medium?

When movie stars get confused

Just in case you've been on a deserted island without access to wi-fi and gossip blogs for the past, gosh, year or so, Sienna Miller, British tabloid darling, is staring in a movie called "Factory Girl," in which she plays Edie Sedgwick, a 60s it girl and herself the star of some underground movies.

Sienna is taking her part very very very seriously, no doubt because she thinks that taking on the role of an anorexic drug-addict who died at 28 from a barbituate overdose is an express-ticket to Oscarland. And, evidently, being smart enough not to adopt Edie's lifestyle to get into the role (although not smart enough to totally dump Jude Law), Sienna has tried to get into the part by adopting what she thinks was Edie's style.

Now, Edie was in fact dubbed "the girl in black tights" by Life Magazine. However she always wore them with a mini or a tunic or something that at least reached her crotch even if the garment didn't entirely cover it. Sienna on the other hand, is going for the pure tights look, and she appeared at the recent New York Premiere of "Factory Girl" wearing a short sweater and what appears to be a pair of granny panties over a pair of tights.
Sienna is supposedly a style trend-setter. However, Girlfriend clearly needs to be reminded that she's not Edie Sedgwick, that she'll never be Edie Sedgwick, and that she shouldn't even WANT to be Edie Sedgwick, considering that Edie's life was short and sad, and people who might be tempted to follow Sienna's lead and go outside without pants or dress should be reminded of that too.

By the way, that's Sienna in the top picture, and Edie in the bottom two.