Oops, I did it again!

Okay, so I still haven't bought a new sewing machine, or figured out what to do with the 100 or so vintage patterns I rescued from my parent's house, but I just must buy a fabulous vintage pattern when I see one, and this vintage Vogue Lanvin pattern is Faaab. U. Luxe.

I bought it from Paper Pursuits.com, which has for sale a simply spectacular collection of vintage patterns, among other fashion collectibles. Check out this Lanvin suit pattern. Or, OMG, this coat dress by Fabiani. That pattern is so sharp I got a paper cut just looking at it.

And one of these days I'll get that sewing machine. Really I will.

Golden Globes -- Close But No Cigar

Oh, to be just one shade of pink, one ornament, one ruffle, one dab of lipstick away from being perfect . . .

Drew Barrymore in Atelier Versace

Oh, Drew. One Swarovski crystal sea anemone would have been fine; two crystal sea anemones is an embelishment too far. It looks like she can't even let her right arm fall naturally because of that hip thingy. This could have been among my favorite looks (and even better if it were just one shade darker), but that one ornament ruined it. *sob!*

Jayma Mays in Badgley Mischka

This dress presents a classic case of the floating waistline: it's not Empire, and it certainly not natural. If those white bands had criss-crossed right at Jayma's natural waist, it would have been a sliming, natural look. This arrangement just makes her look stumpy.

Maggie Gyllenhall in Roland Mouret RM

On the first episode of Project Runway Season VII, a contestant almost got auf'd for lengthening a dress by attaching a hunk of fabric at the knee. The judges were offended by the knee seam. When I look at Maggie's dress -- which I otherwise could love -- I see that same dang seam. In other photos, you can see that the dress is lined to the knee, which indicates to me that it was originally intended to be just knee length. I wish it had been left that way.

Toni Collette in Elie Saab

Women of my mother's generation used to tell each other "Put a little lipstick on, you'll feel better!" Please, Toni, a little (darker) lipstick -- in that pale dress, the pale lipstick makes her look like a glittery vampire. With chapped lips.

Marion Cotillard in Dior

Love the color, hate the dress.

Nicole Kidman in Nina Ricci

Love the dress, hate the color. What is it with Nicole and the ultra pale? Is she trying to disappear? If so, she should consider a change of career.

Damn, I'm crabby.

Golden Globes -- They looked better on TV

Jane Lynch in Ali Rahimi

Elisabeth Moss

Jennifer Morrison in Luis Antonio

These three ladies were among the first to appear on the red carpet, i.e., before I had either points of reference or sucumbed to sensory overload, and when I saw them walking, wreathed with smiles and their dresses fluttering around them, I thought they looked divine. Jane Lynch, in particular, positively glowed, and I was surprised to see how a just a touch of lipstick transformed her from tough to terrific. And then I saw the still photos . . .

Jane's dress is olive green taffeta, a LOT of taffeta. Enough said. I still think she looks good, but she could look better. Jennifer's dress suffers from its blah color, and all those ruffles on the bodice make her look matronly. Elisabeth's dress drags her down instead of lifting her up, and unless you're Ru Paul, drag is not a good thing on the runway.

Some dresses look better when the wearer is moving, some look better when the wearer is posing. The red carpet, apparently, requires the latter. Better luck next year, ladies!

The Golden Globes -- Short and Sweet & Sour

The SAG Awards red carpet is almost upon us, and I haven't written anything about the GGs yet. But for any celeb who may read this blog (ha!) before dressing for the next show, here's a list of things I hope never to see on the red carpet again: asymmetry, over-sized shoulder ruffle/ornament/excrescences, ruffles, origami, knee-seams, pale colors on pale people, strapless and black. These restrictions would leave half the celebs on the red-carpet naked, but considering that some guests already prefer nudity, what the hey . . .

Meanwhile, here's Ginifer Goodwin in my favorite dress of the evening, one shoulder and all.

Ginifer Goodwin in Vionnet

The dress is fashionable and original without being extreme, and the color looks fabulous on her. The Golden Globes are supposed to be the "party" award, so cocktail looks seem much more appropriate than the huge ball gowns. Here, Ginifer's wearing the dress, it's not wearing her (Got that, Lea Michele?) Her high-contrast short doo frames her face perfectly. Interestingly, Ginifer's flattering look was mostly ignored by the fashion police, while her co-star Chloe Sevigny, who came dressed like my mother's ruffled criss-cross curtains, got tons of attention. I guess looking really good isn't enough.

Kristen Bell in Jasmine di Milo

Amy Adams in Carolina Herrera

I liked the cocktail dresses worn by Kristen Bell and Amy Adams, too. They looked like they got the message that they needed to dress up without trying too hard. Amy's dress has a great vintage vibe, which always gets a thumbs up from me, and her gold shoes are absolutely fab.

Then there were guests who looked like they didn't try at all.

Perrey Reeves in Herve Leger

Julia Roberts in vintage YSL

I like Perrey's dress, I just don't think it's appropriate for the event, especially not at knee length (should have been shorter or longer), and with those very work-day shoes. Julia's dress looks like something I would throw on to go to the monthly meeting of the Bankruptcy Bar Association, which isn't exactly a festive event. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know you're a big star Julia, now get over your damn self and go comb your hair.