clothesaholic: The Emmys: Whatever

The Emmy Awards were broadcast last Sunday, and I actually managed to sit through E!’s entire, entirely boring, red carpet show. I never thought I say this, but boy, do I miss Joan and Melissa. And Isaac Mizrahi, and Kathy Griffin, and anyone who isn’t that boring waxworks homunculus omni-host Ryan Seacrest. Those shows only really work when spiced with snark. But speaking of Kathy Griffin:

Kathy Griffin

It’s bad enough that her dress looked like it was made out of Grandma’s drapes, but look at the hem!!!! It looks like someone needed to shorten it in a hell of a hurry and used glue, or else the dress was REALLY made from drapes and someone forgot to take the weights out of the hem.

If a Project Runway designer sent a dress down the runway finished like that s/he'd be sliced and diced by Nina Garcia and then auf'd. So who let Kathy out of the house that way?

As for the rest of the fashion parade, I didn’t see anyone dressed ridiculously, but I didn’t love the same things that the Fashion Police and the voting public loved, and I liked some things that a lot of commentators hated. I attribute this difference of opinion to my ability to rise above the rabble and independently apply my own innate good taste, not to mention that my inner crotchety old maid more and more dictates how I view clothes.

For example, most people raved about Brooke Shield’s fuschia Badgely Mischka dress and Heidi Klum’s sparkly Armani Privé number.

Brook Shields in Badgely Mischka

Heidi Klum in Armani Prive

I think the Badgely Mischka dress is a bit too young, too prom, and too fussy, and I don’t like asymmetry in clothing , even in Armani, so even though Brooke and Heidi don’t look bad by any means, I just can’t get excited about their looks.

Christina Applegate in Reem Acra

My favorite look was Christina Applegate in a Reem Acra gown, which surprised me because I often think Reem Acra’s dresses are too bridal (she started as a wedding gown designer) and, having just said I don’t like asymmetry, this dress is asymmetrical. One of E!’s fashion police thought the look was too old for her, so maybe it’s the crotchety old maid who likes the way Christina looks. Maybe I’m giving Christina points for being a cancer survivor, at any rate, I like it.

Then I liked, or at least didn’t hate, some looks the Fashion Police and other so-called experts absolutely loathed.

Mary-Louise Parker in Roberto Cavalli

Emilie De Ravin in Matthew Williamson

Poor Mary-Louise Parker; she took a lot of criticism for her Roberto Cavalli gown. I'm not crazy about the color, but the gown is basically a slip dress with a little bit of ruching. Considering some of the hot messes Robert Cavalli produces, this garment is downright restrained. Mary-Louise has the body for it, too. So why all the hating?

I also rather liked the Mathew Williamson gown worn by Emilie de Ravin. The dress had a lovely classical look, flowed nicely when she walked, and it was, at least, not another damn strapless mermaid gown. The Fashion Police worked themselves into a tizzy over the sparkly trim. In spite of urging women to take fashion risks, the clothes critics are awfully intolerant of those who do.

Vanessa Williams in Kevan Hall