Thursday, May 06, 2010

The Alex McCord Syndrome at the MetGala

Alex McCord of the Real Housewives of New York City

I'm so glad that women got the right to vote before reality television took over the world. If those male legislators voting on the 19th Amendment saw all the bimbos, gold diggers, sluts and just generally self-absorbed and selfish females who currently behave badly in public for fame and fortune, they might have voted to have American women locked away in harems instead.

I mostly have a hate-hate relationship with Bravo TV's Housewives series. I keep dropping in the last season of The Real Housewives of Orange County because the previews kept hinting that something really, really bad was going to happen to one or more of those silicon-stuffed, gold-plated idiots, and I really, really wanted to see someone get the karmic smackdown she deserved. Didn't happen -- and indeed, what could happen to a person like that unmannered clueless "Christian" wife I call Boobies McDuckface?

I never watched TRH of Atlanta or TRH of New Jersey because the mysogynist producers at Bravo made the bad worse by throwing ethnic stereotypes into the bimbo mix. Urgh. But I've always watched TRHNYC because the women of the cast are smarter and dress better. This season is particularly fascinating because the Housewives, while dressing better than ever, have gone totally batshit crazy.

Thin blonde Housewife Alex McCord is a formerly minor player in the series who has finally found her voice by trying to tell off Jill Zarin, who is loud, self centered, and really needs to be told off, repeatedly. Alex hasn't been very successful because Jill has the six-foot Countless Luanne DeLesseps running interference for her, but I give her credit for trying. She's now my favorite Housewife.

Anyhoo, while browsing the photos from this year's MetGala I mistook any number of blondes with big foreheads for Alex. Have all those hours of TV crap finally gotten to me, or do some people need to fire their stylists?

Amber Valetta in RM by Roland Mouret

Love the cut and color of this dress, hate the shoes. Amber could use slightly darker lipstick and some powder on her forehead. That forehead glare is blinding.

January Jones in Yves Saint Laurent

In her Mad Men incarnation, January Jones looks like Grace Kelly. For some reason, in real life she'd rather look like Alex McCord. Why?

Kristen Bell in Diane von Furstenberg

Another blonde -- they all look alike to me, especially when they're wearing ill-fitting strapless dresses. Damn, Kristen's bodice looks like it's about to make a run for the border.

Lauren Santo Domingo in Proenza Schouler

Nice dress, and she's working the lipstick. There's still an hint of Alex, though.

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