Project Runway -- back from the dead?

I've been composing an obituary for Project Runway ever since it moved to Lifetime – and then, and then, last week, the Lady Parts channel broadcast an episode that intrigued me as much as Bravo's early and wonderful episodes did. And by that I mean that after the show I wasted a whole lotta time thinking about How It Should Have Been Done and How I Would Have Done It. Lord knows the show gave me plenty of material to work with: hats from Phillip Treacy, contestant designs from hunger. But before I tell you what was wrong with the garments, and how I, in my clothes obsessive way, would have made them right, let me tell you what's wrong with the show:

(1) Too much Heidi. Yeah, yeah, she's a magnificent example of Nordic womanhood, but she has no taste (I mean, girlfriend is a 37-year-old mother of four, but she still lives for short, tight and shiny) and she's not that witty. Heidi was more amusing the first season when she was a basically a blonde automaton with a wonky accent. Last season, when the shows were All About Her, I was so bored I thought my brains were going to melt and leak out of my ears. Design a cover look for Heidi! Design a red carpet look for Heidi! Design a merkin for Heidi! Okay, the last challenge, had it been real, would have been unique, at least . . .

(2) Too many staged interviews, not enough work room drama and trash talking. What is it with competitive reality show producers? How many times do they have to cue up a one-on-one interview in which the contestant says "I've been in the bottom three [fill in the blank] weeks in a row, I really have to step it up" . . . ? I've never heard anyone in real life say " I have to step it up," but in reality shows this same comment is made so often you could turn the phrase into a drinking game. And of course we all know that as soon as a contestant makes that comment, they're gone . . . Meanwhile what made the early shows so entertaining was the way TPTB just pointed the cameras at the contestants in the work room to catch them breaking sewing machines, hiding muslin, throwing tantrums, crying, trashing each other and generally entertaining the crap out of the viewers. More of that, less "stepping up" please.

First, the credits: the photos from Project Runway (hereinafter "PR") were all borrowed from Tom & Lorenzo's blog, which is really the only PR blog you'll ever need.  Bless.  I wouldn't bother to do any posts  about PR myself except I have way too much to say, with illustrations, to put it in comments.

And now, on to the episode: the challenge – to make a dress that complimented one of Treacy's extravagant hats. The results left me thinking that the designers were either blind or living in a parallel universe . . .

This shorts outfit is April's offering, and the peculiar bottom earned her a place in the bottom two (no pun intended). She looked at the hat and thought: "resort wear," and made high-waisted shorts (verily, an invention of the devil!) I look at that hat and think Chinese, futuristic House of Flying Daggers Chinese, to be exact. Instead of diapers, imagine this hat worn with a cheongsam made out of some unconventional material, a Lady Gaga cheongsam, in some shear fabric appliqued in strategic places with futuristic peonies and studded with pearls. I can't find an exemplar of my fantasy cheongsam, but check this out:

This vintage cheongsam is for sale at Black Light Vintage Cothing, which has quite a collection of '60s and '70's cheongsams in funky fabric. Fun. And nothing about these dresses is reminiscent of diapers.

Val had a gorgeous beaded lace mask to work with, and she produced this sad pink schmatta with a stretched out, ill-fitting bodice (interfacing is your friend), accessorized with an undersized shrug adorned with pointless zippers. That's another trend I wish would die a sudden death – exposed zippers The fact that this thing wound up in the top three is an example of Heidi's insidious influence. Surprise! The dress features the boobs! Heidi's got boobs! Heidi wants to show her boobs at at every opportunity! Phillip Tracey fairly choked over this choice, because it bears no relationship to the hat, but hey, forget it. Boobs!

Val congratulated herself on not doing the obvious and making an evening dress, and a couple of the judges agreed with her. Baloney. When I saw the mask I immediately thought Der Fledermaus, Un ballo in maschera, opera, ergo, something operatic and grand. For example, check out these beauties:

[Of these three gowns, the top dress is a Howard Greer gown for sale at Dorothea's Closet Vintage (do check the detail on this gown.  You will swoon!),   the second dress is a Victor Edelstein gown for sale at Antique Dress.com (fishtail back!  I die!), the third, in pink, is a vintage Dior, one of the gallery pieces at Vintage Textile, which also has some to-die-for gowns for sale.]

Now imagine something similar in the palest pink or champagne, with a touch of black velvet on the bodice or at the waist, all to make the mask pop. Now, wouldn't that have been better than Val's . . . thing?

Peach had one of the best hats, but instead of making the super-sophisticated minimalist column that should be worn with such a hat explosion, she decided to cater to Heidi and produced something shiny, tight and short. And pink. I like pink, but there was way too much of the wrong pink in the wrong places this week.

I envision this hat worn with something white in the Narcisco Rodriguez - Victor Costa for Calvin Klein - Chado Ralph Rucci if-you-have-to-ask-you-can't-afford-it minimalist mode.  Perhaps with a little vintage flair, because that never hurts. Like so:

Damn, I love this pattern.  Of course the problem with doing minimalist design in a competition is that the judges may look at the garment and say, where's the design? To which the proper answer is, "less is more."   Heidi, probably, would hate anything that covers the wearer from neck to knee, but the answer to her objection is that when it comes to coverage and class, "more is more."

Michael D. looked at this hat and saw "warrior," and now that I look at it for a while, I get the Conquistador vibe. But I'm over the whole woman-warrior look; it's so Season 4.  When I saw the hat, I immediately thought: Flying Nun! And boy howdy, imagine the fun you could have doing kind of a Harajuku nun dress. Take an A-line dress, like one of these from Vintage Friends.com:

 

Make it short (yes, sometimes even I think short is good), add a white collar and cuffs, and maybe a Harajuku Goth Lolita-style petticoat, accessorize it with black seamed stockings or black thigh-highs, Mary-Jane pumps with 5-inch heels, and prepare to either go to the top or go home.

Am I done yet?  This week's episode of PR is on in an hour, I've got time for one more:

Oh, Andy, Andy, Andy. You told Tim that this hat made you think of the Ascot scene in My Fair Lady, (I think it was Andy, until PR gets down to about six designers I can't tell them apart) and then instead of some ethereal garment in black or white, you produce . . . this hot pink duvet cover. I see this hat worn with a 1930s afternoon dress, in white. Yes my children, this episode is giving me a white moment . . . several white moments, in fact.  Anyhoo, observe:

Isn't that crochet dress super fab???  It's actually a pattern for sale on ebay.  Please, someone out there buy the pattern, make the dress and send me a photo.  The photo of the tucked dress comes from sensibility.com.

And now I'm pooped. To heck with the rest of last week's creations. Here's hoping this week's episode lives up to last week's, or I'll bury PR yet.

Clothes on Film on Project Runway

One of film's great dresses on Gloria Grahame in "The Big Sleep"

Episode 6, Season 6 of Project Runway: the contestants were told to make costumes for films in five different genres, film noir, sci fi, adventure, period, and Western. Or maybe it was to make garments inspired by the costumes for the different film genres. Whatever their challenge, one thing was clear. The contestants don't watch enough movies. Apparently the designers who drew "Western" have never seen a Ralph Lauren collection, either.

Clair Trevor and Dick Powell in "Murder, My Sweet"

Three designers chose film noir as their genre, and heaven only knows what they thought film noir is. Films of that genre (although some critics claim that film noir is a style influenced by German Expressionism, not a genre) are usually about middle or lower class people doing sleazy things, and while gowns make an appearance, usually on the femme fatale or good-bad girl working in a nightclub, the iconic film noir look is simple, a dress or a blouse and skirt. That's the approach costume designer Renie Conley took when, at age 80, she designed the wardrobe for Body Heat, the 1981 movie in the film noir style.

Jane Greer and Robert Mitchum in "Out of the Past"

One designer, Althea, kind of got it, although her design looked like the outfit a film noir character would wear after she got thrown out of a speeding car. Irina's design looked like a nightgown, which could have worked if she left off that mysterious white tent. Louise's design was just confused, which surprised me because she usually wears vintage-inspired clothes, which I assume she makes herself. The dress she wore for the judging was great, not that I can find a picture of it online.

Veronica Lake in "This Gun for Hire"

However this Episode did give me an excuse to post pictures of some of my favorite film noir actresses looking good in high contrast. Audrey Totter, shown wearing a fur coat, practically made a career out of being the bad girl who would do anything for a mink.

Lisabeth Scott in "Desert Fury"

Audrey Totter and Ray Milland in "Alias Nick Beal"

I totally didn't get two of the judges' top three picks, Epperson's and Christopher's. Epperson's genre was Western, and his design might work for, say, a punk biker Western. Shootout at Thunderdome, perhaps? Many viewers thought Epperson should have won this episode, but the raggedy-uneven whatever didn't do it for me.

Christopher did a period look. For a vampire wedding; his description. Thank goodness he qualified the character and the look, because then this outfit might fit in, say, a Van Helsing type of period movie. Otherwise it's from a period on another planet. A lot of viewers really liked his garment. I bet they liked Van Helsing, too.

My favorite design was Logan's. He chose action-adventure, and I can actually see Angelina Jolie stuffed into this outfit for Tomb Raider 3. Poor Logan is getting a lot of grief on the interwebs because he's straight and because he designs clothes that look like, well, clothes. Hang in there, Logan! I'm a fan.

NB: I wrote a post about Karen Walker's Prisoner-inspired collection; now IFC is rebroadcasting the entire Prisoner series. This time, I get to see it in COLOR!!! Damn, I'm old.

New York Fashion Week = sensory overload

Isaac Mizrahi, Spring 2009

It's only a few days into New York Fashion Week, the first event in Worldwide Fashion Month, and already I'm overwhelmed. It seems like the number of runway shows increases exponentially with every season, making it impossible for any normal person, i.e., one with a non-fashion job, a house to clean and pets to feed, even to flip through all the designer slideshows on Style.com or nymag.com. I can't even keep up with the Fug Girls' reports at New York Fugging City, but that might be because I have to stop to google three-quarters of the "celebrities" they write about. Really, why are the stars of Gossip Girl everywhere, and why should I care?

The slideshows at New York Magazine are fun because they let you label every look "fabulous" or "hideous," but that scale would be a lot more useful if they added a third category, "meh." Because when there are thousands of looks going down the runway, you can bet there's going to be a lot of "meh."

Project Runway fans have already realized that, once again, the finalists (or three finalists and one decoy) will have their well-publicized shows weeks before the episode in which they're chosen is broadcast. Way to go, Bravo!

Pardon me, that would be Sweet . . .

P, not Pea, although however you spell it, there are trademark problems in the dear girl's future.

It took seven episodes for Project Runway Season IV to really engage me and for my gal Sweet P to step up to the plate and deliver some fashion. This is another case, for me, of being careful what I ask for: I wanted a season where the emphasis was on fashion, not personal drama, and I got it -- and it promptly put me to sleep.

Anyhoo, Episode 7 was the prom dress challenge which, after my recent traumatic encounter with the prom dresses in Dillard's junior department, really grabbed my attention. The PR crew produced some interesting designs which, for the most part, did not expose the young models' naughty bits, although, with one exception, the dresses looked too old for 17-year-olds. (In my opinion as a stuffy old broad who would like to see 17-year-olds in pink organza.) It was also generally agreed that this dress by Ricky Lizalde was one of the least attractive to roll down the runway.

Screen cap by the divine duo at Project Rungay.

So imagine my surprise when I found this dress un Chanel's Spring 2008 Couture collection:

Is washed-out and egg-shaped the wave of the future?

Karl Lagerfeld is on record disparaging PR. PR was filmed in Summer, 2007; the Paris Couture collections were held the second week of January, 2008. I wonder if Herr Lagerfeld knows that one of PR's less successful (at least until Episode 9) designers anticipated his design?

In Episode 9 the PR designers were challenged to create, using Levi's jeans and denim jackets, "an iconic look that captures the spirit of the 501 legacy." I wasn't sure whether that meant they were to sew up an iconic look in denim, or to create a design in denim that would become iconic. Whatever; is there a design more iconic than a Chanel suit? And once again there was a Chanel/PR convergence, because Herr Lagerfeld did at least a third of Chanel's Spring 2008 ready-to-wear collection in denim. And this may be the trench coat that designers Victorya Hong and Jillian Lewis were trying to create:

Sorry Victorya, there are some things that are only justified by a pricey designer label.

Actually, doesn't this Chanel jacket look like something a PR contestant would create from scraps?

Kiera Knightly was well and truly fugged for wearing another piece from the Chanel denim collection, as well as a bizarre hairdo and terrible make-up, for the cover of W Magazine. Let that be a lesson to persons who would combine denim and iconic.

Project Runway, Episode IV -- and more stuff.

Goodness gracious me – Sweet Pea only barely survived the Gidget Curse last night to sew another day. I would mention her no longer except that in my tour of PR-related blogs (okay, Project Rungay) I’m finding a lot of Sweet Pea hate, and I don’t understand it. One commenter went ballistic because she was offended that Sweet Pea was aghast when Elisa “spit marked” the fabric Sweet Pea was holding. “Spit marked,” meaning Elisa spit at Sweet Pea. Hello? I think any person trying to avoid communicable diseases and expecting common courtesy would object an uninvited christening with strange bodily fluids as well.

I’m a fan of Sweet Pea because (1) she’s this season’s token old broad and we old broads have to stick together, and (2) she seems straightforward and self-aware. The men’s outfit she made was crap, she acknowledged that it was crap and said she was embarrassed by it. No excuses. How refreshing. However I don’t believe she has a chance in hell of making the final three – but I’ve been surprised before.

Is pink the new orange?

I found these two dresses, for sale at Aesthetically Vintage while I was making one of my period searches for shirtwaist dresses. (Click on the image for the link). The only thing these garments have in common is their color, which leads me to believe that I’m entering a “fascinated with hot pink” phase. That's straight out of an orange phase, oh deary me – but that sweet full-skirted number’s a Dusy, isn’t it?

These pictures were snagged off of a right-click protected TIAS site. Now, while I absolutely respect a person’s right to protect their images, the fact is that the dresses (patterns, fabrics, etc.) featured in blogs, including this rather obscure one, usually sell rather quickly after they’re featured. And isn’t that the point of selling online? Wider exposure to potential buyers?(Actually, the full-skirted dress sold before I had a chance to post the picture, but I'm sticking to my thesis.) Let me expose you, darlings, you won’t regret it!

Project Runway IV and other stuff . . .

The previews for PRIV made it look like this season was going to be a complete freakshow, the contestants being a rainbow and a half of stereotypes. Luckily, it seems that they were only acting out for promotional purposes, and I in fact like this group. My favorites so far (and I'm so sorry if this statement brings the Gidget I-like-you-therefore-you-lose curse down on their heads) are Chris, the costume designer who came off as a total Jay-wannabe in the adverts but who is relatively down-to-earth, tears at meeting Sara Jessica Parker notwithstanding; and Sweet Pea, who managed to deal firmly but tactfully with Elisa, this season's token earthchild, to produce a nice garment in the last episode. I can't say much about the talents of any designers this early in the competition.

Here's something I didn't like: there was a link on Bravo's PR website (now removed) saying something like "Get the look of Lauri from 'Real Housewives of Orange County.'" Agggghhh!!! I'm totally Bravo's bitch, but I HATE that show and the shallow, mercenary, plastic women it features. I tried watching a couple of episodes the first season but I stopped because, among other things, I couldn't tell any of the blonde housewives, of whom Lauri is one, apart. Is that a look anyone wants to emulate, really? Southern Californian conservative siliconed meretrix?

I'd totally wear this

I have another disagreement with The Fug Girls over this outfit being worn by Nicole Kidman. They think it's too old for her, and maybe it is, but I'm mumblemumble years older than Kidman and damn I could rock this outfit. The hair, though? The hair is too old for Nicole and even for me. I'll add my vote to all those who think she should go back to red.

I'm really excited about seeing her as the evil Mrs. Coulter in "The Golden Compass." Nicole plays cold evil bitches so well ("To Die For," "The Others"), and that, btw, is an undiluted complement.