One must suffer to be beautiful.

The Carnival of the Couture this week is hosted by Sense of Soot. The Topic is Torturous Fashion . . . “a style you have loved with masochism unparalleled.” This is a hard topic for me; other than the usual pairs of sky-high strappy shoes, I haven’t been tortured so much by fashion as by those things women need to put on before they become fashionable. For example, in order to wear the vintage styles I love, I need to approximate a vintage shape. In my case that means donning a waist-cincher or corset or full body cast. So I do, and wiggle into my wiggle dress, and after an hour or so I remember why fainting couches were such an important piece of household furniture for so long.

The fashion aid that really defeated me was the contact lense. I’m blind as a bat, I have astigmatism, I have dry eyes, and I need multi-focals, so soft lenses won't do. While still in humid New England, I lived fairly successfully with little chips of glass in my eyes. Then I moved to windy, dusty, zero humidity Nevada, and I just gave up. However, after a recent viewing of “How to Marry a Millionaire” – Marilyn Monroe in rhinestone cat’s eye glasses – I’ve decided to embrace my inner vintage old maid and go rhinestones and cat’s eyes myself. So the next time you see a woman in a wasp-waisted dress and extreme specs take the time to say “hey.” That bespectacled corseted spinster might just be me