Sunday, May 21, 2006

The Carnival of the Couture, May 21: 18th Century Austrian Hussar Hookers from Outer Space.

The Style Graduate asks:
"For this week's Carnivale, I want to know what runway look you would wear as a Halloween costume. And no cheating; it has to be an outfit actually sent down a runway by a designer! So go forth, fashion bloggers, and find photos of your costumes!"

Well, I looked, as far as I was able (the people who pay me actually expected some product this week, dammit) for the Ultimate Designer Carmen Miranda costume, because I can never pass up a good fruit hat. Alas, some of the formerly reliable sources of outrage, for example, Australian Fashion Week, let me down. So I went for that fallback Halloween standard: the Hooker Costume.

Remember those Ferre boots posted by the Superfantastic Manolo, the ones I said were obviously designed for the "dominatrix who caters to men with the fetish for the Hussar of the Austrian Empire?" Top left, A.F. Vandervorst has thoughtfully designed the complete outfit (well, it could use a shako) for that same dominatrix.

And long live and Lucifer Bless (hello! Halloween!) our Funky Little Fashion Troll, John Galliano. In this celibacy-enforcing outfit, he gives us, by way of the French Revolution, Mad Max and the Da Vinci Code -- the Opus Dei Vampire Hooker! All she needs is a cilice to match that mantrap on her panties and one of those cute plastic jack-o-latern buckets to be completely ready for Trick or Treat! Vive le Dior!

Here's the Marie Antoinette hooker to complete the Revolution theme in case you want to go for the group prize at the party. From World at Australian Fashion Week.

And last, but obviously, far far far far far from least, we have your Madison Avenue gray flannel Inuit Crustacean Hooker from Mars. The down filled garment is not only chic, but it converts to a sleeping bag good to -20 F, covers a variety of alien appendages, and offers convenient button access to the naughty bits!

By Yegor Zaitsev, from Russian Fashion Week.

"Svim Vare, Effening Vare!"

1 comment:

umagazine said...